Sunday, July 26, 2009

I just finished reading Luke and now i'm floundering around while I try to find something else to read. I feel like I'm really pathetic honestly. That my passion and zeal is in a slump. Romans 7 is really resonating:

"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot cary it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing! Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ... For in my inner being I delight in God's law, but i see another law at work in me waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sing at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

I know what I want to do. I want to study God's word, get to know him more with Quality time, praise him for he is worthy. But I can't seem to do it. I find my self busy, trapped by a cluttered and disorginised life. Even when I wish to be serving God in my work, I find he is the last thing I think of.

How can I do what my heart and mind desire and live for God when this sin inside continually rages against me?

"... Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Despite my failures and continual loss in the battle that rages, in Christ there is forgiveness and love. Through him I have the power to fight the battle.

But how do I get this power? Lord what do I need to do to push aside the sin so much that I can come to you? Yet even as I ask, I know the answer is nothing. Only through you can I do anything. Lord please give me your grace to approach your throne.

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