Friday, September 30, 2005

Afraid? Of what?
To feel the spirit's glad release?
To pass from pain to perfect peace?
The strife and strain of life to cease?
Afraid - of that?
Afraid? Of what?
Afraid to see the Saviour's face
To hear His welcome, and to trace
The glory gleam from wounds of grace?
Afraid - of that?
Afraid? Of what?
A flash, a crash, a pierced heart;
Darkness, light, O Heaven's art!
A wound of His a counterpart!
Afraid - of that?
Afraid? Of what?
To do by death what life could not -
Baptize with blood a stony plot,
Till souls shall blossom from the spot?
Afraid - of that?

E. H. Hamilton

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

When the phone rang at 12:20 this morning, i thought, "thats odd". but when i went down to check what it was about with mum and found out that my pa-pou had been moved to the intesive care unit of the hospitial, i thought, 'thats not good."

after spending the night listening to the phone ring and having my mum call people and then waking up this morning at 6 to find them leaving for the hospitial, im now very sleep deprived, but praying very hard.

So when the phone rang at 8:10 with the news that the surgery didnt go well and my Pa-Pou died...

Have your way here
keep me afoalt
Cos i know
Ill sink with out you
Take this ocean
Of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Romans, Chapter 1, verse 11 - 12

"I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith."

how awesome!! im always wanting to try to enocurage people and make them strong, hey, if im honest, i woudl love for people to come up to be and make me suddenly strong. But here is the answer - "that you and i may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith". to be strong we have to encourage each other!! Share the faith people, encourage each other so that we may be strong in the spirit of God.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Yeah i finally understand JONAH!!! this i have to say, is a pretty big break thru for me. i mean, sure i know more bible stories than your average newly become christian, but there are alwasy thoes ones you jsut never got - and Jonah was one of them for me. taht whole bit at the end with the plant... makes no sense - untill today!!

So i had bible study, and dispite the fact that we are doing acts for hte moment, today we looked at jonah for a number of reasons :D and we only did the first 2 chapters, but then when i was waiting for chris, ricky adn scott to turn up for christianty explained, i though, i know, ill look over jonah again, adn i kept reading it and taking the last part apart in my mind and I GOT IT!!

so now you are all wondering what on earth i got.. so here it is:

But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. 2 He prayed to the LORD, "O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."
4 But the LORD replied, "Have you any right to be angry?"

5 Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. 6 Then the LORD God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. 7 But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better for me to die than to live."

9 But God said to Jonah, "Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?"
"I do," he said. "I am angry enough to die."

10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

its a crasy chapter. but i think i get it - God is saying "you are sad abotu a plant - so sad you want to die" and then hes saying "why cant i be sad abotu my people - people who, even though they are sinners, i made adn love. why cant i care enough to die?"

and the answer is - he did care enough to die for us.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

im waiting and waiting and waiting. jsut like i waited and waited for Haruka in japan, just like i always wait and wait for my sisters, just like i waited and waited for ricky on friday. Today i am waiting again. this time though, im waiting for Wendy, who was supposed to meet me at 2:30 (3/4 of an hour ago) in this computer lab to practice our korean. who konws it we will even practice before the day... thats pretty bad considering i need to practice becuase i dont know some of what i have to say... *sigh* waiting and waiting...

cant wait for the ball this friday though! :D:D mostly cos it will mean my korean is over (weather i pass or fail is irrelevent - the thing to remember is that its over!) and becuase i will get to dance dance dance!! :D

had the best lunch today too, chicken, bean salad, feta and olives. pretty ace. so healthy and yum. :D filling too - which is good beuase i have no money... :D

now that i think abotu it though, waiting isnt so bad. and i mean, Jesus waited for me - how sad woudl it have been if he had gotten tempted by chocolate or something and had gone off for 5 mins and missed me? pretty bad - thank heavens that even though i can get tempted while im wating - Jesus resisted and waited for me untill the end.

Monday, September 19, 2005

YES! its MONDAY!! mondays must be the best day in the week soley becuase there is DANCING on mondays! :D i must say though, that it was highly insane to stay up untill 2:30 yesterday morning but it was also totally worth it, untill fiona came into wake me up this morning at 8:30 and sat on my legs and put her cold hands on my warm face. :P still i got a few more hours sleep so it wasnt too bad. :D

had my boost interview today - interview number one. it sounds like they have a pretty tough interview/jobgetting process to go thru. which sorta sux, but i guess it just means that the people who work there woudl be pretty cool.

finihsed reading the davinchi code. which i am so gald about becuse i was trying so hard to get thru it and now its over i can say i read it and leave it there. it was interesting enough, but also really far-fetched in waht it was trying to say about christianity. so far-fetched im sure thats why alot of ppl liek to believe it. :P (man my typos are bad today...)

anyway, as i go thru the week and try to remember what they said at chruch on sunday, i have to continually focus on the thought: All I Need Is Jesus, becuase its so true.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

up this morning at 6:15 and even though im 20 mins early for my korean lecture at 8, i dont feel tired :D doubt this feeling will last after even 15 mins of not being able to understand korean, but thats ok!!

on the way to uni today, listened to some retakes of Veggi Song and i loved all of them, but i have to say "In the Belly of the Whale" is probably my fav. awesom lyrics (

I'm sleepin with fishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm highly nutritious here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm ready to reappear,
I don't wanna belly ache,
Lord, how long's this gonna take?

So Lord, if im in the belly of the whale becuase you said North and i headed South, how long is it going to take before you make this whale spit me back out so i can do work for you again?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

so ive decided i really dont like trying to title my posts, becuase really - its like trying to decided what the book will be called before you get to the end... and so im not goign to - if your reading and hating me for this decision - deal with it cos it aint goign to change :D

music exam tomorrow, just finihsed reading thru the notes for the class i missed on monday (:P dam clash) and i think it might be ok. i just have to study for the final and get a great mark on the assignment. :P all the best for us. so uni uni uni :P

the flight to Japan is almost booked, yeah for me! and had some random friends come to bible study and christianity explianed today so taht was aweom too. sadly i started reading the davinci code and im pulling my hair out at the complete fiction taht they are selling to people as real! ARGH! i just really want people to remember its fiction, but all i can hear is alexandras voice in my head telling me that its explaiing thigns she always wanted to believe. im like "NO!!!!!" ... who knows if i will finish it, its all a question of weather i can take the bollocks its trying to feed me or i can just manage to keep reminding myself its fiction...

on the saddest side ever, i havent had time to get the song down... dosent it always happen this way? but its still in my head, so one day it will be written!! now im jsut trying to find to fix my dress for the ball next week.... yeah another ball!! :D:D:D

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Yeah i just started to write a new song!! :D see - boring japanese lessons are good for soemthing! :D so excited!! anyway, i slept in this morning (suprise suprise) thanks to the combination of my long working weekend and dancing on monday night (yeah for dancing!!) and even though Curtis is kamakazi curtis and manages to wack me in the face when we dance, i have decided that i really like to dance iwth him, becuase he asks me if i need help with anythign adn teaches me new moves :D yeah for curtis! :D

so anyway, then i missed my first japanese class, so i went to a make up one (after falling alseep in the one i made it to... ehehhe D:) but then i started doing a bordem drawing (yes another one!) and it was slightly depressing, btu then i started drawing stars, and i reliased that stars are like dreams in reality, because they are something we can see and be in awe of. they are like a promise that there is something bigger - that there is somethign worth fighting for! (i love stars) so then i started writing a song! yeah for me! ive got 2 verses and a chorus and a bridge on the way :D and a melody ehhehee... its so fun i wish i had a computer wiht music notaition software here so i could start to write it up - or failing that a piano... but sadly - this uni is lacking both of thoes... *sigh*... oh well...

currently also listenign yrock (hope it doenst make me loose my musical track of thought) and one of my fav songs came on - definatly maybe by FM static :D yeah for great songs (man my arm muscelts are getting sore from this spontanious fast typing :P) but very soon im going to go and study some korean, becuase i really dont give the language as much study as it desreves and if i dont study i will definatly fail my mid semester :( that wouldnt be good!

copyright to me 2005

and all i see are stars
reminding me of You
and all i see are the stars
keeping me going, for You
Only You

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Post Two

well good morning to me on post two. :D after working 8 hours and a bit, and knowing for at least the last 4 or so that i couldnt wait to leave work, im now home and chillin in front of the tv. fiona hasnt had enough sleep so she is in a very bad mood and she has to work tonight and then again tomorrow morning - back to back 10 hours. Poor fiona. shes is going to be glad to sleep in on monday morning. im not sure i will even be able to get her out of bed so she can go to uni... humm oh well.

Me and sarah are going out tonight to the maskerade (waht a word! :P) ball so yeah! but i acutally have a bit of a headache.. probably from working and my hands smell like donut king :P im going to be so glad to walk out of there on monday - which i have just realised is the start of school holidays adn therefor wont be as crusy as i woudl have liked... oh well.

man this started so good and then i got distracted by the adds on tv... disastor! so with only 30 mins to go untill i have to start getting ready, im watching some classic tv - dr quinn medicin woman. the sad thing is there are so many other thing i could be doing, as always.

why on earth do i waste so much time! :P

"Our concentration
it contains a deadly flaw
Our conversations
change from words to
Blah, blah, blah
We took prescription drugs
but look how much good that did
Well I think I had a point,
but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems like me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus
on anything

Because it's
17, 18, 19 routine
and here at 23 it's
the same old me
and that one thing
of the moment
that we all happen to like
will only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double-edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more
and more and more
until it's all we can afford"

anyway with balls to prepare for and headaches to rid myself of, i had better get going, even though this bludign is so much fun. :D

Clouds again

Every day i am so astounded by how great God is, jsut by looking at the sky. Always looking up - changing what you see by changing your perspective - always makes things seem so much different. So amasing. So much you never thought possible.

I love to walk down the street to my house, just when the sun is up, or when its setting, or even when there are clouds in the sky, especially the whispy ones, becuase i feel thoes are the days that God has started to draw caligraphy in the sky with them. Walking down the street today made me want to never take up driving, jsut so i could always have the chance in every day to look up and know the wonder of God.